Participating in this film has taken much more time and energy than I expected. One of the most interesting things about it has been learning how different film is from live theatre. They are completely different mediums. I knew this, but experience is different from knowledge. And, I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before I got started with it, but we film the night scenes at night! So lately I’ve been working all day at the day gig and filming most of the evening.

I had a rehearsal on Sunday for a scene I performed at the university on Wednesday and on Sunday evening I auditioned for a new production with a new theatre company. I found out Wednesday that I got the role. Happy Dance!!! I will be playing Helen in George Walker’s Problem Child. I am definitely living in the flow of opportunity. I actually feel as if I am on the edge of losing control of the current.

My fear wants me to pull back and stop, but I know in my heart that in spite of this fear I am in the midst of expanding a very worn comfort zone and that I truly want to be doing all of the things I am doing right now. Since I have started paying more attention to the tactics of my inner critic and my ego I have realized how active they are every day. They want me to stay in my comfort zone with the blankets pulled up over my head. They want me to keep reading about how to do it instead of doing it. They want me to make another plan and another plan for making the plan. They want me to play computer games and drink more wine. And they love junk food – especially Cheezits flavored with tobasco!

And here’s a warning for us all – when I am physically tired the inner critic’s and the ego’s ideas sound very appealing.

Instead of backing out of my Wednesday performance, I sat my rear-end down and learned my lines. Instead of skipping the audition, I cancelled some social engagements and told my friends I wanted some time for myself. This is new behavior – someone smart told me it’s called setting boundaries. When I first heard the phrase “personal boundaries” my reaction was to ask, “You mean I’m allowed to do that?”

As a creative person in a world that is more comfortable with 9:00 – 5:00,
as a woman,
as a mom,
as a daughter,
as a child who grew up in an addicted home,
as a woman with ambition,
as a television owner,
I’ve learned through trial and error that boundaries are the keystones for creating an extra-ordinary life.

But just like walking through the door of opportunity takes practice so does establishing the boundaries that bring me to the threshold.

I made a list for myself of the things I think an artist needs in order to let their creativity flourish.

Boundaries:
We have to have them. They are a requirement. And they require frequent renegotiation.

Space:
The need to carve out private physical and mental space.

Time:
If you are a working mom (I have a full time job outside the home), time can be a major stumbling block. Even if you aren’t a working mom – time can be a major stumbling block. It can be a challenge to manage time without getting caught in the trap of becoming a professional time manager. This is one of the reasons I am enjoying working with The Autofocus Sytem. It’s simple.

Energy:
This one is difficult for me to admit, but one person only has so much energy. Just because I have nothing I HAVEto be doing at the moment, doesn’t mean that I can pick up my novel and dig into writing. Creative energy is required.

Allies:
It can be difficult to maintain momentum in a creative vacuum. Creativity begets creativity. Finding and connecting with other creative allies is vital to our support system.

Family Support:
If you are reclaiming your creativity after a period of living in “the numb”, there is likely to be some resistance from people who have gotten used to who you were before you rediscovered your creative spark. It isn’t that they don’t want you to be happy, its just that they may not want to share you. This goes back to boundaries requiring constant renegotiation.

Happy negotiations! Let me know what’s on your list of creative needs.

Tags: Acting, Creativity