I was restless last night. I think my restlessness is related to the fast pace of my life right now. I am enjoying my life so much right now. I am involved in so many things that I am happy about and at the same time I am finding it hard to settle myself down at the end of the day. When I am restless I start browsing my bookshelves, perusing the titles and spines of my books looking for a sign. Books play a large role in my comfort and self-care.

I found Michael Port’s Book Yourself Solid. Nice. But I knew as soon as I started leafing through it that it was going to stir me up rather than settle me down.

I opened up Joyce Chapman’s Live Your Dream and her Live Your Dream Workbook. Same problem – the exercises are too stimulating for late night reading. I browsed a little bit and put them back where I found them.

So I went to an old stand-by. I opened up Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love. This book has been on my bedside table for at least two years and I still haven’t finished reading it. Not because I find it dull or inaccessible, but because it needs to be savored – it’s like having a cup of tea with your best and most honest girlfriend.

On page 204 I read this: “Nothing would be better for your acting career, ” I told my friend, “than that you would start starring in your own life.” Every time I open this book something like that jumps off the page at me. I thought, “Whoa! What does that mean?” What does it mean to star in my own life. I think I’ve been doing that lately – with this blog, acting and teaching again, writing and connecting with like-minded creatives. But, I know there’s more – there is a next step on this journey that wants to be taken and I haven’t quite discovered what it is or how to take it yet. Does this mean it’s time to get off the dime?

On page 205 she wrote, “It is our humility, our desire to be of service, that makes us stars.” I have been asking myself over and over, “What service can I offer? What do I have to share that other people may want or need?” I can’t quite find this answer. It’s like I am following someone I think I recognize down the street and I am trying to catch up to them so I can see their face, but they keep turning the next corner before I can reach them and all I can catch is a glimpse.

I am a strong believer in the power of synchronicity. This is another reason it is taking me so long to read A Return to Love. When I open the book, there’s a message for me that seems to speak to the exact thing I am wrestling with or tangled up with in that moment of my life. So all I have to offer today are more questions:

1. What would it mean to play the starring role in your own life? What would that look like and feel like?
2. What is uniquely ours that we can share that is of value to someone else? How can we be of service to one another?
3. If our service to others is an act of humility, who are we serving and how?
4. If I have to put bread on the table and shoes on my kid, how do these needs translate into acts of humility?
5. Is there anyone you’ve observed or anyone you know who IS starring in their own life? Are they humble? How are they of service to others?

Acting can be written off as diva territory. How can you be humble and be a star? How is it an act of service to say, “Look at me! Look at me!” These questions can get in the way of a performer’s drive or a writer’s story. “What could I possibly say that hasn’t been said better by a thousand other writers a thousand times before? What makes me so special?”

It makes all the difference in the world to ask these questions of ourselves in a kind and loving way. What DOES make me so special? How would you answer your child, if he asked you that question? What special quality do you see in your daughter that you want her to see in herself? If you could hold a mirror up to an infant and show that child how special and beautiful he/she is – what do you hope they would see and understand about who they are?

So here is a kind answer to a kindly asked question:

Q: How does an actress take on a role and bring an imaginary character to life as an act of service to her audience?

A: Without her performance the audience wouldn’t have the opportunity to laugh, or cry, or feel angry, or be inspired, or be reminded of someone they once loved. The possibilities for service are as endless as the imagination.

As I was writing this I could hear my daughter’s voice saying, “Look at me! Look at me!” and I got a big smile on my face. I love it when she takes center stage in our house and in her life. I applaud her bravery and her imagination and her joy. At the same time I crave my stage time and I want the lights to shine on me. Being a mother requires a fine balance between these joys.

[amazonify]0470281901[/amazonify] [amazonify]1564145328[/amazonify] [amazonify]1564145336[/amazonify] [amazonify]0060927488[/amazonify]

Tags: Creativity, Inspiration